Choose Your Hard (Part 2): The Practical Guide to Getting Shit Done
(on the tail of my previous article “Choose Your Hard: A Philosophical Guide to Getting Shit Done”)
Being healthy is hard. Being unhealthy is hard. Discipline is hard. Regret is hard.
You can pay with discipline now, or you can pay later with regret, chronic disease, and the slow, crushing buildup of despair that comes from breaking promises to yourself.
But here is the mistake most people make: they try to pay that cost with willpower.
I used to think discipline was a character trait. You either had it or you didn’t. Then I noticed something uncomfortable: sometimes I crushed it, sometimes I crashed and burned. The difference wasn’t my strength of character. It was my setup.
I was an accidental behavioural engineer.
Willpower is not a virtue; it is a battery. The battery is used up quickly.
The solution is not to try harder. The solution is to design your day so the healthy option is the default.
Here are the five levers to engineer your own success.
1. Your Hard Is Not Hard (Find Your Flow)
Stop fighting yourself with goals that clash with who you are.
Most New Year’s resolutions fail for one simple reason: the person you are wouldn’t do the things you’re choosing to do.
You set a goal to eat strict for four weeks, hit the gym five days a week, or cut out all treats. It feels disciplined. It looks hard. But if it doesn’t match who you actually are, the wheels come off.
I am a serial endurance athlete. That is my tribe. Recently, I realised I had drifted, too many chips, too many diet drinks, too much work. So, I signed up for five brutal endurance events in six months, culminating in Ironman New Zealand.
From the outside, a 3.8km swim, 180km bike, and 42km run looks like a brutal grind. But for me? This is where I come alive. This is where I thrive.
Your “hard” might be (OK, it will be…) different. Maybe it’s bodybuilding, or hiking, or dance. The goal isn’t to copy me; it’s to spot what lights you up.
Who are you, really?
What pulls you out of bed no matter what?
Are you chasing resolutions that fight your nature, or amplify it?
When you lean into what excites you, the “grind” becomes flow.
Behaviour change stops being a battle and starts being you becoming more of you.
2. Bright Lines: Remove the Debate
Vague goals invite bargaining.
“I will eat cleaner.”
“I will drink less.”
“I will be better this week.”
This language opens a courtroom in your head. And when you are tired, your brain is a brilliant defense lawyer. It will convince you that you deserve a treat, just this once.
Bright lines close the case.
Not: “Cut back on weeknight drinks.” Yes: “No alcohol Monday to Thursday.”
Not: “Try to sleep earlier.” Yes: “Lights out by 10:30 PM.”
Not: “Eat less junk.” Yes: “Dessert only on Saturdays.”
My own bright line for a season was simple: No drinking this year. No negotiating. No daily drama. Bright lines aren’t harsh, they are kind. They protect your mental energy from the fatigue of constant decision-making.
3. Friction Audit: Work With Your Wiring
Humans conserve energy. We follow the easiest path the way water follows gravity. Stop fighting that wiring and start using it.
Make the unhealthy hard:
Too much junk food? Don’t have it in the house. Make getting hold of sweet treats harder. There is zero chance a packet of chocolate biscuits would make it past 7 PM in my house. I have zero willpower for chocolate biscuits immediately accessible to me
Night-time scrolling? Charge your phone in the kitchen, not by your bed.
Make the healthy easy:
Commute by bike: Get rid of the second car. You have to bike, it’s the only way there.
Workout: Meet someone there
Most of us don’t need more discipline. They just need less friction.
4. Decision Diet: Choose Once, Repeat Often
Every decision you make drains your battery. That is why your diet fails at dinner, not breakfast. You aren’t weak; you’re decision-fatigued.
Take the decisions off the table. Build boring defaults.
What are your “goto” meals? Keep it simple, have the ingredients.
Set a fixed training time so there is no daily negotiation.
Health is rarely one big choice. It is a hundred small choices made easier by removing the option to choose. Decide once, then let the routine run.
5. Hard First (The Dopamine Reset)
We live in a world of quick dopamine hits. Social media, junk food, and vaping rewire your brain to need more reward for less pleasure (tolerance). Eventually, your baseline drops, and you feel “pain” just being neutral. This is withdrawal.
You can’t eliminate every vice, but you can hack the system back in your favour: Do the hard stuff first.
Cold immersion, saunas, vigorous exercise – these reset your reward pathways. They reset your baseline so simple things feel good again.
That’s a mind twist and the great paradox of modern life. Too much pleasure eventually causes pain. Hard stuff helps you experience pleasure more easily.
Pro-tip: Gatekeep your cheap dopamine. No social media until you’ve exercised. Use the fun stuff to reward the hard stuff, not to distract you from it.
The Summary
The holy grail of a good life is knowing how to change your behaviour. If willpower, just “trying harder”, is futile, then you have only one logical path available.
Engineer success in advance.
Don’t choose by willpower. Choose by design.
